Tales of a Wanderer
As I approach my 50th birthday this April, I do not look like what some may consider “middle-aged”. I am more “J-Lo and Jen Aniston” than I am the grey-haired housewife sending her kids off to college, wondering where those extra pounds came from, and trying to finally do something for myself, now that my “kids are out of the house”. Nor am I the “Stepford” wife, or similar, who married well, popped out 2.5 kids, and received “bonuses” from my husband if they got into the right schools.
I am an actress, musician, and songwriter, and chose the life of an artist. From the time I graduated from University of the Arts in Philadelphia, I was on the road doing Musical Theater. I loved to travel. I loved to meet new people and experience new things. Back in the 90s, people didn’t have cell phones. I tended to wander off a lot, and have adventures. While I was on the “Robin Hood” tour, we visited maybe 25–30 states. My castmates were ok, but I would always strike up conversations with people, and they would suggest places to go and things I should see. One night while we all went out “two-steppin” in Austin, a guy and I started dancing. He did drop me on my head during a lift. But we hit it off. I know I ended up staying over at his place, and he had to rush me back to make the van the next morning for our call time to leave for our next show. I was greeted with, “WHERE WERE YOU!!!!!!”
Another time, we were staying in Brownsville, TX, and there was a lovely pool. I am a swimmer. I currently swim 100–110 laps per session 3–4x a week. Two male nurses struck up a conversation with me. One said that they were going to MEXICO tonight for dinner, and asked if I wanted to go. Hell, YEAH! So sure enough, I got into a car with 3 strangers, one female who knew Mexico very well. We crossed the border into a town whose name I cannot remember. We had a lovely dinner and went dancing. We didn’t make it back to the hotel until the wee hours of the morning. As always, I was admonished for wandering off with strangers.
In 1997, I was offered a job for seven weeks as “Elmo” on Star Cruises, which sailed out of Singapore. Vee Corp flew us to Singapore, where we were met by our handler, I-Ying. There were 3 characters: Elmo, Count, and Prairie Dawn, one dance captain, and a costume repair person. We had two short shows a day, and meet and greets with the children, but mostly we had a lot of time to do what we wanted. I took advantage of everything the boat had to offer: movie screenings, pool, and small gym. Sometimes the guests saw me exercising, and decided to join me, as if I was their teacher for the day (side note, I have been now teaching fitness for over 20 years).
Our ship had three destinations: Booze cruise around Singapore, Singapore to Malaysia, Singapore to Thailand (my favorite!). There is only so long that you can walk in a circle. The other girls, although nice, were homebodies. They missed their boyfriends. They went to Singapore and Malaysia once, but then would rather stay on the ship when we were at port, drinking booze, and getting overly tan (one girl was 25 and yet she had severe creases in her face from all the tanning). I made friends in other departments: There was a girl from the Philippines who was with the singing group, and she asked me to go with her to Thailand one day. Sure! But first, she had to see her brother, who worked in the galleys. She explained to me that on the ship, food was recycled. The passengers had food fresh out of the kitchen. As an entertainer, I had passenger status. Any leftovers from the first day might be seen in the “buffet” area, for which the singer, certain musicians, crew of a certain status, and passengers who would eat anything would partake. It was about quantity at that point. By day three, the leftovers from the first two days would be served to the people who worked in the galleys. This is where her brother was working. He was rarely if ever, allowed to leave for shore, and enjoy the sites. However, both she and her brother said, that after working 2 years on the ship, they would have enough money to buy a house in their own country, as the currency from the Sing Dollar to the Philippine currency would allow for this.
There were two “Pierres” who both happened to be the Piano players. One was Caucasian, one was dark-skinned (perhaps Aborigine?). Both were extremely tall, thin, and from OZ (Australia). I made very good friends with the dark-skinned Pierre, who spoke with a lovely accent, and taught me about Soy milk, and running. I realized that I was gaining weight on the ship. Food was laden with fat and salt, and as I was not in control of my meals and how they were prepared, I was eating things with hidden ingredients that were making me gain weight. Pierre was a vegetarian. He and I would go to Malaysia, where he showed me the REAL Malaysia, where you could have soy milk made fresh, and eat healthy food off of a banana leaf.
At the time, I wasn’t a real runner, but I needed to do something, so I would get on the treadmill on the ship and run. Pierre said, “once you run for a good hour, there is no reason to stop…you just keep going”. I have been running outside for over 20 years now, but I fear and loathe treadmills. No matter what the weather, I will run outside, in as many layers as it takes. Pierre did eventually make a move on me, and me being stupid and oblivious, it went right over my head. I did not have a computer yet, and I think he gave me his email before we left for home. Alas, I do not know what I did with that piece of paper, and I do not remember Pierre’s last name, only what he looks like and that he was from Australia and plays the piano, and likes to run and eat healthily. I have had my “wow I could have had a V-8” moment, and would not know how to find him.
I am still friendly with Auschwin, another handsome, tall gentleman I met on the ship. he was from The Netherlands. He worked as the photographer on the ship. I went to Thailand with him once, and he was very friendly and polite. I guess I also did not absorb that he was into me. He eventually married a woman from Vietnam, and they did invite me to the wedding, although I could not go at the time, and they have a lovely son, and live in the Netherlands. I asked him if he remembered Pierre or his last name, but he didn’t remember.
For better or worse, I decided to take a job as an instructor at a huge gym chain in NYC. This meant that every time there was an audition, and it took longer than a certain time, I would have to miss the callback, or miss my opportunity because I was unable to find someone to cover my class. When it was good, I had a full-time salary, one week paid vacation, and even health insurance. But this did not come without jealousy, backstabbing from not only other instructors who wanted to steal your classes but also bully managers who made it their business to spread lies about you and take your classes for themselves, or feed their power-hungry egos. I, unfortunately, gave up auditioning for theater after two years of working at this company, which eventually used every excuse to sh-t on me and hurt me. I did, however, use what money I made at the time to buy my apartment, and fund what would be my music career. I paid huge amounts of money for studio time with producers who, although good, would make mistakes, and charge me to fix them. I was also prey to “labels” and “radio promoters” who were happy to take your money and deliver nothing in return. I did, however, with each album, learn to use internet connections and sites, and build my own tour. I have played in wonderful places overseas like Amsterdam, Czech Republic, England, Wales, and even Australia. I wish I could have let Pierre know that I was in Sydney performing my music. And looking very fit. But I didn’t know how to find him.
Being this fitness company has scaled me back to teaching just a few classes a week, I have gone back to my first love, acting. I work for various casting companies that submit me for background work on various films and TV shows. Sometimes I am featured, or upgraded. I have some reel on my YouTube account. (search Kama Linden). I miss traveling. I miss having the money to travel. I am SAG AFTRA, but I did not join Equity when I should have. I sing better now as a pop-country singer-songwriter than I ever did in Musical Theater, as I am no longer “belting” (very bad! Being LOUD does not make you a singer. I like a mic). I am now researching ways to fund traveling again. I am also working on music for my fourth studio album, for which I will take a road trip to Nashville, and record in the studio where I recorded my third album, with all live musicians, on two-inch tape, at 1/4 of the cost as it was in New York.
I still very much have my wanderlust. I miss the road. I miss the adventures. I hope to figure out how to get back out there. But for now, I take short stints to the Jersey Shore (my nearby paradise!) where I will run on the boardwalk of Belmar, and busk on the Boardwalk of Point Pleasant and Seaside Park, enjoying the ocean, and the friendly folks who are both local and from all over, who have come to enjoy the summer. If you see a girl with a guitar, sitting on a little red stool, singing her heart out, stop by :).
Kama Linden is a singer-songwriter with 3, soon to be 4 studio albums. She also teaches fitness, and has a fitness book: “Healthy Things You Can Do In Front Of The TV”.
